


Eris - the goddess of discord

by Alytori



Series: "How to avenge yourself" a tutorial by Marinette al Ghul [1]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Miraculous Ladybug, Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Bad Parent Ra's al Ghul, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, False Memories, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Male-Female Friendship, Marinette is an Assassin, Multi, Not Beta Read, Repressed Memories, The League of Assassins (DCU)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-14 11:41:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28919997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alytori/pseuds/Alytori
Summary: Demon's head daughter couldn't be anything other than perfect. She must master every martial art. Her education must be flawless. Failure is not a choice. Even the smallest mistake is a disgrace.Marinette knew it. That’s why spent hours and hours training and perfectimg her form. But something was lacking and she craved to find it.
Relationships: Batfamily Members & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug & Wally West, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug/Dick Grayson
Series: "How to avenge yourself" a tutorial by Marinette al Ghul [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2150889
Comments: 9
Kudos: 63





	1. What it means to be the demon's head daughter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dansen uchiwa - Japanese war fan https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Japanese_war_fan  
> Balisong - a butterfly knife https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Japanese_war_fan

On the far east, high up in the mountains is a city, Nanda Parbat. There hides and lives Ra's al Ghul, the demon's head. 

The walls in Nanda Parbat have no warmth. They're permanently soaked in blood and death. At night you can hear the anguish screams of the long dead. 

In a small room without windows lives a girl with eyes as blue as sapphires and hair as black as night. Dark skin makes pale scars visible. 

The only welcome visitor is the girl's sister. She will tend to the girl's wounds and help her prepare for sleep. 

"You must be more careful, Marinette." Berated her Talia. "Your training will grow harder with time. You must be ready for this, ya albi. I can't lose you."

"Why do we have to train so hard?" 

"Father has a lot of enemies. We must know how to protect ourselves," Talia answers softly. "The League doesn't condone uselessness and everyone must reach a certain standard. It's even higher for us because of our father. And I am sure you enjoy a part of your training, don't you?"

"Yes, I enjoyed training with Lady Shiva. She taught me how to use a war fan. Dansen uchiwa* is my favorite, but mubuchae is nice, too." At her sister's questioning look she continued: It protects my arm and I can use it to dodge attacks. Then I will stab the attacker using balisong**. .. And I can also.." the next fifteen minutes were spent discussing different ways of using war fans and daggers. They briefly touched on the subject of Japanese martial arts and weapon making.

"...and that's why I prefer straight blades." Talia stopped talking and looked at Marinette. The girl was staring at the wall. 

"Why can't we just leave?" Marinette suddenly spoke. "We would go everywhere and stay nowhere. You could pose as my guardian. If anyone asked about parents, we would give them a sob story about their death." The brief training with Lady Shiva made the walls in Nanda Parbat feel more suffocating than before.

"Oh, ya albi, you know that's impossible. Father would track us down immediately. He has ears and eyes everywhere." Talia chuckled bitterly. Somehow her answer made Mari more enthusiastic. 

"But you want to run away! That's what matters! One day we will bribe Nyssa and she will help us. And we won't have to live under our father's tumb." 

Talia just hugged her sister. Getting out of the League of Shadows was impossible. Especially for them. She could only pray that Marinette would be happy one day.  
***  
Demon's head daughter couldn't be anything other than perfect. She must master every martial art. Her education must be flawless. Failure is not a choice. Even the smallest mistake is a disgrace.

Demon's head daughter isn't a child, she's a weapon. A perfectly sharpened dagger.

Eight-year-old Marinette understood it the day she failed for the first time. She stood there, before her father, waiting for his verdict. The small voice in her head whispered how it wasn’t her fault, that even famous designers don’t have this much security as Gabriel Agreste does. “I should have been prepared for everything. This failure will be my lesson if I survive this,” she thought bitterly.

"You failed me, Marinette. Not only you didn’t kill that man, but you were caught and Talia had to get you out there. As your master, I’m furious, as your father, I’m disappointed.”

The cold stone hurt her knees and her ears burnt from embarrassment. His words were sharper than the sharpest knife. That’s why he is called Demon’s Head after all. 

“I’m sorry, father. It won’t happen again. I..” Marinette tried her best not to falter under Ra’s’ glare. 

“I don’t remember giving you permission to speak.” His words left goosebumps on her skin and Marinette had to bite her tongue to stay silent. “Your actions will have consequences, so be prepared for your punishment. Do you understand me?”

“Yes, father,” she answered softly, but Ra’s seemed satisfied and dismissed Marinette to her room. She left as fast as possible.

In her room, she would think about the nature of punishment and try to be prepared. Hey, how does one prepare for their death?  
***  
After that Marinette had to spend even more time training and studying. Talia was happy to hear that. “Ya albi, if you continue training, you won’t fail again. You were lucky father decided to pardon you.”

Marinette was sure Ra’s wouldn’t let her walk away without proper punishment, but she decided to humor her sister.

Marinette spent a lot of time practicing with her blades and darts. War fans slowly became her weapon of choice. You can hide it. You can show off with it. There are multiple ways of using it making it perfect for Marinette. 

Unfortunately, Marinette never used sharp tessen during practice. Later, Marinette would regret it, because fighting ten trained and armed assassins with two fans wasn’t her definition of fun.

Scratch it. It was hell. Given the number of attacks, she could avoid them only for so long. She couldn’t take out her daggers.

_Swish. Kick. Jump. Repeat._

Marinette was skilled, but so were the assassins. And it still took them an hour to take her down. “At least I managed to injure them, too.”  
***  
Waking up in Lazarus' Pits wasn't something she wanted to repeat ever again. The water felt gross on her skin and the smell made her want to throw up.

Marinette slowly rose from the water. The first thing she noticed was the absence of scars. "How many new scars will litter my skin before I die again?" She wondered silently.

Another prominent difference was anxiety she could feel in her bones. She craved to do something, to the blood of her killers on her hands, to feel how life leaves their bodies. A whisper in her head sung how glorious it would feel to get her revenge. 

"It's not punishment when I feel so high and mighty, father. It's a gift I will treasure." With these words Marinette dug her nails into her arm, leaving small marks. The skin felt too clean for her.

In this state, Marinette didn't notice her sister entered. Talia stood there watching the last bits of Marinette's innocence fly to hell. It was the point of no return.  
***  
Ra’s was sitting in his room when he felt movement behind him.

“Marinette,” he greeted her. “I see you’re feeling better now. What is the reason behind your visit?” 

Marinette tilted her head and slowly answered; “I wanted to ask your permission to return the favor.”

“You can do whatever you want to them. Just leave them alive. But you were very effective at taking them down, so three of them can’t stand.” This was the closest thing to praise she could ever hear from Ra’s al Ghul.

“Thank you, father.” With a small nod, she left to enact her revenge. If there were more screams than usual, nobody paid attention to it.  
***  
Reading was a great way to escape reality. Books told her about different worlds and people. Unfortunately, Ra’s had to approve every book given to her. Only for very significant achievement could she read something other than textbooks.

One time Talia gave her a book with Greek myths. It soon became her favorite book. She loved the stories about gods, and heroes, and monsters. The heroes knew when to kill and when to spare someone. Marinette could admire this.

“I just don’t understand what you see in that fury! His enemies constantly escape Arkham and he still won’t kill them. His negligence hurts other people and they still call him a hero! Father respects him, too!” it wasn’t a common occurrence for them to argue about Batman, but Marinette was just too annoyed with Talia’s pinning.

“Bruce impressed our father with his skills and devotion to a cause. Bruce is hopeful. He believes everyone can change and be a better version of themselves. We know that’s not true and some people will never change.”

Marinette wasn’t impressed. “I know some people can’t change. We work with some of them.” Talia just laughed at her expression..

“One day you will fall in love. That day you will understand me.”

“Ew, disgusting. I will never, ever fall in love. Especially not with a bat. I’m sure of it.” Talia just shook her head fondly. Her little sister still has so much to learn.  
***  
Eleven-year-old Marinette had an agency. She had a goal. She knew what she wanted to do.

“And where will you go, Marinette?” Asked Talia. Marinette spared her a glance noting bags under her eyes and multiple cuts.

“Gotham. I will tell Batman everything I know about the Light. But don’t think I do it to help him. I want to destroy everything for our father.” She threw a suitcase with much more force than needed. 

“Why now? You seemed so eager to please him.”

“Pits did something with my brain and changed my memories about The fight. I thought it was their own decision. With this knowledge, I asked my father for permission to avenge myself. My overall perception of him changed.”

“And now you are angry. But you shouldn’t run away like this. Batman won’t trust you. He will think you are a double agent sent by the League.” Marinette just grinned at that.

“I will give B information and leave immediately. I’m going to travel the world. I have money and I can take care of myself.” Talia sighed and took Marinette's face in her hands.

“I know I can’t change your mind, but please be safe, ya albi.” She whispered.

“Thank you, Tals.”


	2. Travelling around the world

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Running away from Nanda Parbat is complicated. Travelling to Gotham is even more complicated

Escaping from the League of Shadows wasn't an easy feat to achieve. The grounds of Nanda Parbat were heavily protected and Marinette had to be extremely careful to not be noticed by other assassins. 

After almost an hour of sneaking around, she finally left the compound behind. The first part of her plan is completed.  
The second part of her plan was... slightly more complicated. Crossing an ocean was expensive and took some time. She had to perfect her plan. 

She had an easy (meaning it took less time) way to get to Gotham. Go to the east and find a ship to the USA. Then a road trip across the states would wait for her. 

Unfortunately, this plan made her more vulnerable. The most important part was traveling across the ocean. She wouldn't be able to hide on the ship or protect herself if she were found. 

That's why she went to the south. Adani port in Mundra, India, was her first destination. 

After leaving Nanda Parbat she found a small village name of which she couldn't be bothered to remember. 

Her father made sure she had a flawless education and driving different types of vehicles as part of her skill set. “The only good thing he did for me” she murmured while stealing a car. She was sure nobody would catch her. She knew how to leave no trails. Also, for safety reasons, she would leave that car behind. It wasn’t that good anyway.  
Her age made everything harder. Marinette could travel only during the night or on the abandoned roads. She couldn’t let anyone notice her. 

She had passed the Indian border before someone asked about her parents for the first time. It happened in a small town in Punjab. Marinette deeply regretted leaving her first car behind. Hiding from the police and military was easier by herself. 

“I don’t mean to intrude but you don’t look like you live here. I wanted to ask why you are alone? Where are your parents?” Asked a woman. Her blonde hair nicely framed her pale face. Her emerald green eyes shined with concern for Marinette.

“You don’t live here. You’re a tourist, miss. You can’t be sure I don’t live here.” Marinette answered defensively. The hurt look on the woman’s face made her feel bad for a moment.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to offend you.” The woman rushed to apologize. “You just looked so tired and I want to help you.”  
Marinette wasn’t sure what to do. She was exhausted and hungry. She slept only two hours a day to protect herself and her money. And you can’t exactly find restaurants high in the mountains. 

What did the woman expect her to say?

“My grandmother lives...I guess I should say lived here. My parents lost contact with her years ago, so we didn’t know about her death. I decided to meet her and find out what happened.” Her imagination never let her down. 

The woman was still concerned. She was certainly the type to put her nose where it doesn't belong.

"But are your parents not worried? I have a son your age and I can't imagine him going so far by himself." The woman looked even more worried. "Are you hungry? You know what? You are tired and hungry. There is a cafe over there. We're going to order something there and I will pay for you."

Marinette was suspicious. Who in their right mind would feed an unknown child? But it saved her money and trouble explaining why she is alone. She reluctantly agreed and let the woman lead her to the cafe. 

The interior didn’t look half bad. Everything was done in soft, pastel colors. Green plants in pots made the place look fresher. On a closer inspection it became obvious they were fake, but Marinette agreed they looked nice.

The woman led her to a secluded table near a window. At Marinette’s questioning look she giggled: “I found this place with my husband and son. We usually borrow a chair so we can all sit together. Do you want to move?”

“No, I like it here.”

The owner soon came to take their orders. Marinette let the woman choose for her as she didn’t know half of the items on the menu. After the man left they continued talking. Mainly the woman was the one to fill the silence. She told Marinette about her family. She doted on her son who was only a year younger than Marinette.

"And my son likes playing the piano... I just realized that you don't know my name!" Exclaimed the woman. "My name is Emilie. I’m an actress. My husband, Gabriel, is a fashion designer. My son's name is Adrien. Now, you know a little about me. Can I have your name now?"

"Marinette." She answered softly. 

It made the woman's, Emilie's, smile even wider. "It's a very pretty name, Marinette. I like it very much."

Marinette muttered thank you and that surprised her. She wasn't soft-spoken and didn't trust anyone she met. But Emilie..she made her feel safe and loved in a short time. The woman seemed to have enough love to share with an unknown child.

"Why?" Emilie seemed as surprised with the question as Marinette felt. She tilted her head silently, asking to elaborate. "Why are you feeding me? Why are you telling me this? I'm a stranger and you're sharing with me so much information about your family."

Emilie smiled sadly at her and took her hand. "I know who you are, Amira. My husband was the one you failed to kill." At these words, Marinette tried to pull away from her hands, but Emilie stopped her. "I don't blame you, Marinette. It was obvious it wasn't your choice and someone forced you to do this. You deserve a normal childhood."

"I'm running away from that life." Emilie grinned at her confession. "I know I can be more than the Demon's head daughter. I am more than that." Lie, but Emilie didn't need to know what her real mission was.

They sat in silence for some time. Finally, they were brought their food. Marinette felt her mouth water at the sight before her. Unfortunately, she didn't know how to eat some of the dishes. Emilie noticed her distress and started eating slowly so the girl could teach herself.

"Come with me." Marinette's confusion must have shown on her face because Emilie continued: "I want to give you a place to call home. It won't be hard to find a room for you. Adrien would love to have a sister."

Marinette would forever deny crying then. She wouldn't mention flinging into Emilie's hands. And Emilie would smile and think about consoling the crying girl.

Several minutes later Marinette stopped crying and leaned away from Emilie.

"Won't your husband be against it? I tried to kill him, after all." Emilie shook her head at that.

"He is bad with remembering faces and I will introduce you as Marinette, not Amira. Marinette is your real name, right?"  
"My name is Marinette Amira al Ghul and I would love to go with you." Emilie sighed and asked why Marinette couldn't go.

"It will make you a target and I don't want you and your family to get hurt. And I have to do something." Marinette suddenly looked nervous. "I promise to find you again after finishing my mission."

"I will wait for you." And that was all Marinette needed then.  
The following silence wasn't uncomfortable. Emilie knew that no matter how much she wanted to help Marinette she wasn't the right person to do so. She could only offer a temporary solution, but it wasn't something Marinette needed. 

"What is your first language? Because your Hindu is very good." The compliment made Marinette smile.

"It's Arabic. Then I've learned Cantonese and Mandarin. Hindu, Italian, Russian, and French next. I've almost perfected my English." Marinette was surprised by the sudden change but didn't mind talking with Emilie a little bit more before continuing her trip.

"You are really smart. I know English, French, Hindu, and Mandarin. My son started learning Mandarin to be closer with me." This prompted Emilie to continue talking about her family. Marinette just silently watched her and wondered whether someone would care about her like that one day."  
Only three hours later they left the café. The sun was setting down and coloring the sky. 

"It's really pretty, right?" Marinette nodded silently. The pinks, and violets, and reds were beautiful. "Can I hug you one last time? I've got a feeling we won't meet again for a very long time."

Marinette didn't see the reason to refuse her request. At her nod, Emilie wrapped her hands around her. It felt...nice.  
But eventually, they had to part. They both had to finish their travels. And, maybe, one day, they will meet again. "Highly unlikely," thought Marinette bitterly.

Emilie's face would stay with Marinette forever. And, maybe, in the darkest time, she would think about her and find the strength to move forward.  
***  
The happiness of arriving at Adani port was mixed with the sadness of leaving Emilie behind. Logically, she had to move on already. It was almost three days and she still regretted not going with Emilie.

There was a very long road ahead of her and she couldn't afford any distractions from her mission. One must not forget that trained assassins are after one. 

Finding a ship to Shuwaikh port would be her first task. The best choice would be a cargo ship. Hiding there would be easier. Plus, she didn't need to eat much due to Pits' effect. She wouldn't need to steal much and would be able to stay alert. 

Sneaking into the ship wasn't hard. Marinette scoffed at their awful security. But, it did work in her favor, so she didn't complain.

It took three days to arrive at Shuwaikh port. Fortunately, they arrived late at night, so Marinette had time to sneak away. It certainly didn't mean she couldn't escape in the morning. It was easier to breathe at night.

Nighttime made it easier to steal a car. She would certainly leave it before crossing the border with Iraq. It certainly wouldn't be a piece of pie to cross it. That's why she needed to get weapons. Marinette didn't take any from the League, fearing they were bugged. 

Stealing from a weapon store was an interesting experience. But she finally had weapons and felt safer than before. "Why didn't I do this before?" Marinette thought. "My hesitation will have consequences."

Having weapons with her didn't help her anxiety. No matter how good she was at hiding her trails, someone would find her soon. It was unpreventable, but she could try to win some extra time.

Her escape might seem spontaneous, but she had planned for two months before running away. The timing was perfect: the next day she had a mission in France. Gabriel Agreste, the designer she failed to kill, made a deal with her father. He became their spy and in turn reserved a right to ask for the League's help three times. 

"They won't notice anything wrong for three-four days. Then, the next two days they will try to contact me. After that, they will start looking for me. I'll give them a week to find my trail and a week to predict my next destination." 

The last part was particularly dangerous. Her route was too obvious, so she had to go in circles. While losing some time, she ensured her safety. "As if giving them more time to find me is a good idea," she thought bitterly. 

Water was still a bad idea. There was little to no protection or places to hide. The League had enough technology to ambush any ship. It made her next destination obvious: Istanbul, Turkey. Crossing the border with Iraq would be extremely dangerous. She barely avoided being caught the first time. If she didn't have enough skills, she wouldn't get out.  
***  
Three days later she was in Istanbul. If she had to cash out several favors to get there so fast, nobody needed to know. The beauty of the city made Marinette stay there for several days. Just to be a tourist for a change.

Visiting museums and palaces set her mind at ease. It reminded her about life behind the walls in Nanda Parbat. It gave her another reason to destroy the Light and their associates. 

Two days into her stay in Turkey she received a message from Cheshire. They were to contact only if the League was close to finding her. With a hard heart, she left the city. "One day I will return here without my father on my tail. One day I will return to stay. One day."  
***  
The good thing about European Union? No borders. The good thing about Europe? Traveling from one side of it to another was easy and fast. It took Marinette less than two days to arrive in France. Was it reckless? Without a doubt. Was it necessary? Unfortunately. 

Jade promised a safe ship. It was waiting for her in Spain and going through France was easier than Italy, because it included crossing the Mediterranean sea.  
***  
Driving to Spain in her (stolen) car was supposed to be easy. She wasn't supposed to be stuck in France for almost a week. She wasn't supposed to find friends there. But she did and regretted it immediately.


	3. New questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where I offer you a bunch of flashbacks and new questions. Some of them were answered

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me so long to write this chapter! I had to change everything several times.

Be aware of your own mind. Your consciousness can and will play tricks, so be careful.

Human mind is fluid. Our memories aren't set in stone but in the sand. The lines and finer details blur every time we try to remember something important.

Human mind is the most curious thing. The organized chaos of it still fascinates philosophers and scientists. What is our mind if not a cabinet filled with carefully placed memories? We don't know how our mind decides what we should remember or forget, but we know that strong emotions play an important part in that decision.

Humans tend to forget bad things. They don't disappear completely but stay in the background. This is the reason nostalgia exists and our past may seem better than the present.

It didn't happen to Marinette, right? She was sure of it and her nightmares just proved her right. But she forgot the most important rule: don't take everything at the face value.  
***  
"You did good, my child," Marinette was still tired after avenging her death (killing them was forbidden, but injuring - not) and didn't comprehend praise in her father's words. "I can answer any question. But only one."

Marinette tilted her head in confusion. "I don't mean to be disrespectful, but why? I don't think I did anything to deserve this." Ra's lips lift in something akin to a smile. Her words meant his plan was working.

"You showed great strength when fighting. I've heard it took them half an hour to take you down. You are my daughter and you can't forget this," Ra's stopped to let his words sink in. "What is your question?"

"Who was my mother?" The predictability of her question almost makes him laugh out loud. He had expected something better from her. Like, "why don't my assailants have the injuries I've inflicted on them?".

"She was an assassin known as Madame Cheng. A formidable opponent and a strong spirit. She died after giving birth to you. It was a hard pregnancy," Ra's can see a flash of guilt in the girl's eyes. 

"Thank you for this information, father. I will treasure it forever."

The girl slowly leaves the room and Ra's congratulates himself on completing the first part of his plan successfully.  
***  
Pale moonlight illuminated a bedroom. The room is completely silent save for soft sounds of breathing. Only two people are there, a man and a woman.

The woman lays on pristine silk, white cloth barely covering her naked body. Hickies and bruises bloom everywhere like colorful flowers. Her midnight black hair barely reaching her shoulders is splattered across a pillow. Her skin seems to be glowing because of the whiteness of the bed linen. Beads of sweat on her toned arms and legs are highlighted by the moonlight.

The man is sitting near her, leaning on a headboard. His skin is several tones darker than the woman's. He is also much older than her. There's white hair in his carefully groomed beard. He's physically fit and strong. He's sitting there completely lost in thoughts. New ideas, new strategies, new plans. The demon's head never rests, after all. He thinks how defenseless the woman next to him is and it makes his blood boil. 

His musings are interrupted by a small feather-like touch on his hip. The man doesn't look at the woman, just lets down his hand and tangles it in her hair. It doesn't satisfy her so she seductively slowly raises her hands to meet the man's eyes. Her smile is small and teasing and it makes the man huff in annoyance.

"Was everything to your liking, oh Great One?" her voice is filled with mirth and there's a strange gleam in her eyes that the man can't identify. 

After several minutes of silent stares the man sighs and decides to humor his lover. He moves his hands to her side gripping hard enough to leave bruises. But the woman doesn't seem to mind. Her small sighs hint that she even enjoys that.

"It certainly was, Madame Cheng," his voice drops slightly at the end of the sentence and it makes the woman giggle like a schoolgirl. Seeing her like that made it hard to remember she was one of the most skilled assassins in the world. Only her stature and white webs of scars reminded him of her lifestyle.

"Why wouldn't you use my name, beloved? We've been married for a year and you still use my alias," Madame Cheng is a formidable woman and she doesn't pout. No, sir, you're just seeing things.

"It's a name you've chosen and made for yourself. Your name was given to you by your parents," he stops mid-sentence to change their position. Now he was on the top. "And you killed everyone who knew it to ensure nobody will ever know it. Only people you trust can use it."

"Marriage is supposed to be a sign of trust. I met you almost twelve years ago. I trust you not to kill me every night we spend together. I know you can kill me without any weapon and I know you always have a dagger with you. I… I like my name and would like you to use it. Please."

There's a dangerous gleam in the man's eyes and she needs several moments to stop shivering. That's what she gets for forgetting who her lover is but it was so easy. "I will use your name after you give birth to a boy."

His words leave a bad aftertaste in her mouth and even the man's hard kisses can't erase it. "It won't last. His gentleness won't last." Marrying the Demon's head may be her fall but she will mourn herself later. Now, she's losing herself in lust and please. She tries to not think that some parts of her won't return.  
***  
Talia remembers Madame Cheng clearly. She always admired the woman who became a mother figure to her.

Madame Cheng was more intelligent than most people gave her credit for and she knew Ra's al Ghul better than she let on. Talia compared her to an actress because she acted so differently in front of her husband. Only in the privacy of Talia's room did she let down her walls. It made Talia feel special.

Madame Cheng was smart and she knew what kind of man Ra's al Ghul was and what he wanted from her, so she acted accordingly. She could read his mood perfectly. She gave him what he wanted because her survival and well-being depended on it.

That's why Madame Cheng was preparing for the worst after she found out that she had given birth to a girl.

"But you can have more children!" Talia tried to argue. The woman laughed bitterly and shook her head. Her laugh slowly morphed into tears.

Talia didn't know what to make of her reaction. Sure, father wasn't satisfied when he heard that Madame Cheng had given birth to a girl, but he loved her. He would give her another chance, right?

"Childbirth was hard for me. I didn't get help fast enough and there were...some consequences. I can't have children anymore," she patiently explained.

"What are you preparing for?" Talia asked, feeling tears in her eyes. "He won't kill you! He loves you."

Madame Cheng sighed and took a breath to calm down. She got down on her knees and looked straight into Talia's eyes.

"Your father, my husband doesn't love me and...never did. It took me some time to understand that, ya amar. I was too naïve and blinded by his affectionate words. I thought I was special," Madame Cheng chuckled at that thought.

"Was it a marriage of convenience to him then?" Talia didn't know how to feel about this. On one hand, she knew that their union was beneficial to the League. Their child would be strong and healthy, a perfect heir. Everything would be perfect. It would be if Madame Cheng gave birth to a boy. And that was what made everything so confusing. Talia loved and adored Madame Cheng and she didn't know what she would when the woman died.

"Yes," the answer is barely a whisper but still so loud in the complete silence of the room.

"So you are just giving up?" Anger was swirling in her veins and Talia couldn't, didn't know how to get rid of it. "We can fake your death, create a false identity. There must be a way!"

Madame Cheng just shook her head and embraced the girl as tight as she could without hurting her. "Ra's will do everything to find me. He won't be satisfied until he sees my corpse," Madame Cheng noticed Talia's questioning look and continued: "He knows we're close and he doesn't want a stray element influencing his heir."

"What can I do for you?" Talia whispered brokenly.

"Talia, look at me. Talia, please, look at me," when the teen didn't move to meet her eyes Madame Cheng softly turned her head. "I know you're sad and angry but turning away from me isn't a solution. You won't get any closure if you continue avoiding confronting your feelings. They will always stay with you like invisible baggage."

"Would he really kill you because you can't give him an heir?" Talia knew she was grasping at straws but she couldn't stop. 

"He refused to call me by my name until I gave birth to a boy. I should have known how little I mean to him. And I won't be useful for a very long time. And the League doesn't condone and," she explained. "Can you promise me something?"

"Everything!"

"There's no need for that, ya amar. Promise to me you will be safe. Promise to me you will protect Marinette and yourself. Promise to be a better person and mother than your father or me. Promise me you will leave one day. Promise me you will be happy. And that's all I want."

"I promise, I promise, Madame Cheng," and in that vulnerable moment for both of them, Talia never felt more confident in something. It was time to make an escape plan. 

Almost a year after that conversation Madame Cheng was sent to Bialiya. The mission should have been easy to a professional like Madame Cheng. And it would be if the woman were healthier. 

It didn't matter how much Talia begged her father to resurrect Madame Cheng. He didn't even bother to find her body for a proper burial!

Talia wanted nothing more than to cry in her bedroom for days straight. And why wouldn't she? The only person who had genuinely cared for her was dead. Unfortunately, mourning Madame Cheng so openly wasn't an option. First of all, she would show her weakness. And secondly, she had a sixteen months old Marinette. The baby couldn't even cry to mourn her own mother. She simply didn't understand what had happened to her.

That day Talia promised to herself she would teach Marinette everything Madame Cheng had taught her. She would never come close to Madame Cheng but the baby deserved some love. Even if only from her older sister.  
***  
Emilie Agreste was a strong and independent woman. She didn't need her husband to approve her choices. If she wanted to spend time with Amira, she would do exactly that, Gabriel!

"She was sent to kill me, Emilie. She's an assassin. The butterfly is the only reason I am alive. You can't let your guard down. She will use your kind heart for her own gain," Gabriel explained his point of view.

"She. Is. A. Child! A child that doesn't know anything better. It wasn't her choice. I'm sure her parents did that for her," Emilie's heart bled every time she thought about the number of training the girl had to go through. "And you can't stop me. I will go to her right now!"

Emilie turned away, her dress flaring dramatically after her. She grabbed the door handle, but the doors didn't open. Emilie could feel how she was and could hear Gabriel's exasperated sigh. "Oh great, because pushing doors you have to push to open is very dramatic," Emilie softly murmured to herself.

After capturing Amira they left her in an old bedroom. Gabriel made sure she couldn't open windows without alerting them and activating security before leaving her alone.

Emilie thought that the room was beautiful but wasn't sure Amira had the same opinion on it.

When she arrived Amira was laying on the bed, completely free from bounds. The girl looked bored but Emilie could see how tense she was.

"How are you, Amira? I came here to help you," now the girl was suspicious. Her tenseness was more obvious and Emilie silently berated herself for such poor choice of words.  
"I know it wasn't your choice to become an assassin. I want to give you a little bit of love, Amira."

When the silence became too much to bear Emilie decided to continue talking. Even if it meant talking to herself. She told Amira stories about her family and how much she loved them. How Gabriel could be so annoying! And how talented Adrien was.

Amira slowly leaned away and laid on the bed. "Are you tired?" asked her Emilie but the girl just nodded. "I will let you have some rest."

The girl just silently hugged her. Emilie counted it as a victory. She slowly left the room activating security once again. 

"Did you check your pockets?" Gabriel's voice made her jump from surprise. Emilie nodded in denial and silently checked her pockets. Nothing was missing, except...for her phone. "Judging from your face that girl has stolen your phone."

Emilie felt so heartbroken she couldn't answer. It must have shown on her face because Gabriel softened. "I will go and take back your phone, love. After that, I'll make you a cup of tea."

Emilie didn't notice anything. She didn't notice when her husband returned with her phone. She couldn't recall how they had ended up in their kitchen. Emilie couldn't remember how she had got a cup of tea.

"I don't blame her," she whispered so softly that Gabriel wasn't sure he had heard hee right. "I don't blame her for trying to escape. She doesn't know us. Why would she want to stay here?"

Gabriel just resignedly sighed. His wife was being too kind to that brat. He decided to not comment but his silence made Emilie more confident.

"Yes, I won't give up on her. I will do everything to deserve her trust," Gabriel could see a fire in his wife's eyes. The very one he fell for years ago. Only now it wasn't directed at him but the brat that tried to kill him. It made him older and wearier. 

"I know you will get through her shell," Gabriel didn't believe in that. He knew the girl would attack Emilie if she hadn't seen his butterfly. He knew Amira knew what he had wanted to show her.  
***  
Talia knew she was a bad older sister. A good sister wouldn't sit idly and drink tea while her little sibling was suffering! And Talia couldn't even do anything to help her (she checked three times before giving up).

"Why would you do that? Why?" Talia asked herself. "Was I not…"  
But then she clearly heard Madame Cheng's voice in her head: "We both want her to be happy. You have to be honest with yourself. Are you angry because she left or are you hurt because she didn't take you with her?"

No matter how much she tried Talia couldn't answer that question. If she did, it would open a can of worms. She would have to answer more questions. Who did she love more? Her father or her sister? What did she value more?

But it didn't matter right now. Talia will be there for Marinette. She will protect her baby sister.  
***  
Sometimes Emilie Agreste was a mystery even to her own son. Nobody explained to him why she had spent so much time in one of the bedrooms. Adrien didn't know why she was so sad after she had stopped visiting that room. 

Every answer he got was too vague. "I'm mourning missed opportunities, my heart."

Adrien tried to not think that it was about a girl he had seen once in the family's gardens. Her appearance blurred in his mind with time but he could remember midnight black hair and sky blue eyes. Adrien could admit she was pretty but he hated the fact that his parents refused to tell him anything about her. 

After Adrien understood that his questioning wouldn't give him any answers he decided to move on. It was quite easy. His mother disappeared not so long after he decided to stop pestering them about the girl in the garden. His father closed himself in his office and Adrien had to make an appointment to see him.

Adrien didn't understand why meeting Eris had brought back memories about the garden girl. 

"Why are you calling yourself Eris?" Adrien blurted out. In his defense, it wasn't every day that he met superheroes.

"Eris is a greek goddess of discord. I wield the Miraculous of Destruction. I thought it was a fitting name," Eris sighed and tiredly rubbed her forehead. "One day I will make an official statement regarding my alias. Everyone asking why like they are banned from Google. Annoying."

"I'm sorry, Miss. I didn't know what to say," Adrien was really sorry. He knew how annoying it was to repeat things. He wanted to ask her about being a hero. He would ask "how does it feel to fly in the sky" and "how does it feel to be free". But Adrien is a perfect boy and perfect boys don't ask such questions. His words about freedom could be used against Gabriel.


	4. Chapter 4

"You're going where? I can't believe you are so reckless! Do you think before doing anything?" Jade screamed right in her ear. Marinette felt she would be deaf soon if the girl continued screaming.

Marinette regretted calling Jade. She offered no valuable advice and only criticized her plans. Annoying.

"Did you forget that I'm _supposed_ to be in Paris? Or that my mission there gave me a head start? If someone sees me there, they will think everything is okay and the League won't be searching for me so intensely. I know it's risky but I have to take a chance," Jade sighed at her words and cursed under her breath. 

"I hope you will succeed. My ship is waiting for you. But don't spend too much time there, _promise me,_ " Jade asked softly.

"I promise," she answered solemnly. Both knew how fickle that promise was. Marinette had no control over some factors. "I'll be safe. I can promise you that."  
***  
There was no doubt Master Fu's shop was the most peaceful place in Paris. It gave Diana strength and a sense of serenity. His tea was the best, too. No matter how much she tried she could never replicate it.

"I know why you are here, Diana," the man stated. "You want to get the ladybug Miraculous but you cannot wield it."

"I don't want to wield it, Guardian," she started slowly. "I just think that Themyscira will be a better place to hide the Miraculouses. A new order can start there."

Fu sighed tiredly and suddenly Diana could see how years affected his frail human body. "They aren't meant to be isolated, Princess Diana of Themyscira. Miraculouses are part of our world and there must be at least one active Miraculous."

Diana put her cup down. Her eyes shined with certainty, mouth set in a hard line and a small furrow between her eyebrows. She had to unclench her fists and relax her stance to appear less threatening. 

"Your words are very hypocritical. You claim that Miraculouses must be wielded but do no effort to find new holders," she stated furiously. She liked him but he could be as unreasonable as men tend to be. Fu tried to answer but Diana Interrupted him: "You can't say there was no need for heroes as they're always needed. You can't say Wayzz being active is enough. If it were true then I would leave them with you and take the box with me."

"They aren't meant to be hidden, Diana," Fu repeated himself.

Diana huffed but the corner of her mouth raised. "Didn't the Order hide them? Or aren't you hiding them right now? If you are so insistent, then the League of Justice can wield them."

"It's harder for adults to bond with kwami," the man uttered. Diana smiled victoriously. She was sure she would win the argument.

"We can teach children. Batman has Robin. Green Arrow has Speedy. There are Flash and Kid Flash."

Fu was silent for several minutes. They both knew he had lost. Fu was getting older and he had no apprentice to take up the mantle after him. 

"Give me ten years to find two lost Miraculouses," Master Fu told her with a strange confidence. Diana wasn't sure about his plan as the man couldn't find them for so long but she could wait another ten years.

She touched his hand gently. "I don't want to be your enemy, Fu. I'm doing this to protect you and the box," Fu nodded softly. "I have to go now."

Diana got up and left the shop. Crime never slept, after all.  
***  
"Ah, Paris, the city of love and lights," Jade looked around and scrunched up her nose. "I still can't believe I came here for you. If someone sees us together, it will be royally bad."

Marinette felt this close to screaming. Her eye was twitching and she had to bite her lip to not start screaming at Cheshire. Cheshire who complained for the last two hours or so. "You didn't have to come with me. I specifically asked to not come with me. And what did you do?" she asked massaging temples. "Not only did you decide to endanger both of us by being here but you continue annoying me and complaining about _everything_."

Jade just smirked and completely ignored her. Screaming wasn't an option as it would make her even more smug and unbearable. "Trash cans and the smell of piss aren't romantic. We have to go to a better part of a city." She turned around just in time to see Marinette's questioning look. "We can't pickpocket someone who doesn't have pockets!" Marinette wasn't impressed. 

"Mari, Mira, Amira. Did you notice how similar your names are?" Marinette knew that Jade didn't care about her names. But talking about them pissed her off and Jade was well aware of this fact. 

Another reason for Marinette's bad mood was a twinkle in Jade's eyes. It, combined with a small curve of her lips, meant Cheshire wanted to cause some mayhem. 

Normally Marinette would be completely on board with causing some trouble. But she couldn't let herself be noticed. 

"What do you want to do?" She asked, rubbing the bridge of her nose. Why were she friends with Jade?

"Let's rob a gang!" she exclaimed with the same expression most people offered to go to a zoo. Sometimes Marinette wanted to bang her head at a brick wall. Other times she felt like pulling out her hair. If she were a weaker person, she would certainly do so.

"Why?" Marinette growled, clenching her teeth.

"So you can have more weapons,” Jade answered innocently as it was the most obvious thing in the world. In a way it was. Marinette couldn’t steal much when she had an opportunity because not only it would weigh her down but it would be harder to cross borders or just hide. She narrowed her eyes feeling something wasn’t right. Jade’s behavior, the way she had presented the offer, the offer itself - it all felt wrong and Marinette couldn’t pinpoint what exactly she didn’t like. Marinette stared at Jade unimpressed for several minutes and was ready to give up when Jade looked away with a small huff. “I came here to retrieve something stolen from my father. One of the Parisian gang leaders took it when they were fighting,” she confessed begrudgingly.

“Did your father lose?” Marinette asked, amusement coloring her voice. Jade just shrugged. “My job is to get it back. I don’t care how he lost it or how he lost to a small gang.”

“That’s why you came with me,” realization dawned on her. “You wanted my help because they had bested your father and you weren’t sure you could steal that thing back. But the whole idea of asking my help irritates you because I’m younger and that’s why you were complaining the whole time.” Marinette smiled victoriously. It was obvious how much her words annoyed Jade. “It wasn’t wise of you to lie. You know I’m good at picking lies apart and I have a reliable gut feeling.”

Jade sighed and started walking. Marinette waited several seconds before going after her. Next ten minutes they were silent. They passed several alleys, every as dirty as the previous one. Every city has its poor areas everyone seems to ignore. no word was said. Out of nowhere, Jade spoke again: “Returning that thing was the main reason to come here but I wanted to be here for you. You are annoying but I care about you more than I could ever admit.”

Marinette didn’t comment, letting Jade continue talking.

“You remind me of my sister. Her name is Artemis. People used to tell us we were similar. She refused to leave with me. She wanted to wait for our mother. I know you’re the one running away so it’s not the same but...Helping you gives me hope I still have a chance to be her sister, to be close with her again. It makes me hope I didn’t fuck up everything with no chance to make amends with her,” Her voice dropped at the last part, followed by a small watery laugh. Marinette looked away, trying to give her a sense of privacy. Raw emotions in Jade’s posture made her melancholic. One day she will be in the same position. Mourning living and missing every opportunity to reconcile.

“You can cry if you want,” Marinette offered softly. “It’s okay to miss your loved ones. It’s only been several weeks and I miss Talia so much. Unlike you, I can’t ever go back. Father will never forgive my betrayal and Talia is too loyal. Somehow, she can still find it in herself to love him.”

“You can go back right now. You didn’t do anything that can be considered a betrayal. Finish your mission and then claim you decided to make a little detour to find a present for Talia,” Jade’s idea was so tempting but Marinette couldn’t go back. Not now, not ever. “But you’re too stubborn for that. I don’t even know what you want to sell out or to whom? is it a safety measure?”

“You will never do anything. You won’t use the chance to make amends with Artemis.” Jade didn’t appreciate her changing the topic of their conversation. Well, bad for her. “A small chance that everything will be okay keeps you going. When you feel like you’re suffocating from the weight on your chest you can find comfort in that small promise of a better future. You won't do anything to rebuild your relationship with your sister because it's harder and demanding. You will have to sacrifice something and you are too scared."

"I don't remember asking you to be my therapist!" Jade snapped. Her posture was tense, she looked ready to attack anyone who touched her. Marinette thought about an injured animal. "But you can't see her wounds," she thought.

"I'm sorry for pushing you so hard. I tend to forget to respect boundaries," Marinette said softly. Jade breathed out, forcefully relaxing her posture. She nodded, showing that she had heard Marinette clearly and had accepted her apology.

"Let's rob the gang tomorrow," Marinette offered. "We're too emotional and exhausted. It won't help. We can pretend to be tourists for a day if you want. We can act as we're normal people with normal problems. Do you want that?"

Jade's small smile shined with gratitude. She clearly didn't want to talk about her sister. "Oh, you care about me," Jade cooed at her while poking Marinette's unimpressed face. "We should visit Notre Dame de Paris. And every other tourist attraction. We are playing tourists, after all."

"Talia bought me "Notre Dame de Paris" by Victor Hugo. Reading that book was our bonding time. Can we go there first?" Marinette asked with the most innocent expression. Jade looked like she didn't know whether to laugh or cry at Marinette's sudden change of demeanor.

"I wanted to ask you to relax your face so people on the streets wouldn't get scared. But you did it yourself. Now, I'm the only person who has to see your gremlin attitude," Jade said dramatically. Marinette just grinned and sprinted out of the alley. She laughed freely hearing Jade's annoyed exclamations.

They weren't okay and, maybe, will never be. But at that exact moment, the weight of their pasts wasn't as crushing as usual, guilt wasn't as suffocating. They were free then even if the blood on their hands still tinted their worldview.  
***  
"Do you want to stay here?" Jade asked teasingly. They were standing in the Egyptian section of the Louvre for thirty minutes and she was bored. While she could agree pictures were pretty and nice to look at she didn’t want to stay there any longer. If Marinette talked with her, maybe it wouldn’t be so boring. “What’s so awesome about this?”

“It’s Ladybug, a former holder of the ladybug Miraculous.” Marinette pointed at the figure in a red suit with black polka dots. “Miraculous is jewelry to which a god is bound. They are called Kwami and each of them represents a specific concept. Ladybug’s Kwami is called Tikki and they represent good luck, creation, and order. Plagg, a black cat, is her opposite. They are also the strongest and the oldest. If you combine them, you will get god-like powers and you will be able to make a reality-altering wish”.

Jade couldn’t deny she was interested or say she didn't hear how strained Marinette’s voice was. “And your father hasn’t got it yet? What a surprise,” if she tried to make the girl relax, she certainly failed. Her breathing was irregular and her hands were shaking. Brainstorming different ways to help Marinette calm down she didn’t notice a small pained gasp.

“He wished for Lazarus Pits to not only heal physical wounds but to resurrect the dead. The price? They deteriorate the mental health of everyone who uses them.” Jade wasn’t sure what to think about Marinette calming down so fast. She had been on the verge of a mental breakdown and still acted so...calm? Marinette ignored her companion’s look of surprise.

"How do you know that?" Jade asked. She touched Marinette softly offering silent support. The girl smiled sadly. "Talia told me everything. And she got it from my mother. They were...close," Marinette explained and promptly turned away 

Several hours later they were standing on the top of the Eiffel tower (was it legal? No. Did they care? No!). Jade just stared at the city below her enjoying the view. "Did you know that the names of 72 engineers, scientists, and mathematics are engraved on the sides of the tower?" Marinette asked all of sudden. "Each of them contributed to its construction. Another fact: the Eiffel tower used to be the tallest man-made building for more than forty years."

"What made you want to share some trivia?" Marinette just shrugged impassively and continued staring at the night sky. Unfortunately, she could only imagine stars as they couldn't see any. A common problem of big cities, really.

But the starless sky made her think about Nanda Parbat and every constellation she had seen there. Greeks had a lot of myths about stars and Marinette knew a lot of them because it had been her and Talia's favourite theme for years. They used to lay outside and point out different constellations. They would make up a name and a story for a star they didn't know. 

Thinking about stars and Talia made her long for Nanda Parbat. Was it a right thing to leave? Would she live long enough to sow the consequences of her actions? How strong was she? And has Nanda Parbat ever been her home? 

"Is this poetic how lights of big cities make you look down, not up? Great. " Jade looked interested but didn't interrupt. "The only good thing about Nanda Parbat was its sky. It looked like someone had spilled a diamond dust. I miss it."

Jade thought about her old home and how she couldn't romanticize anything even if she tried. She thought about her sister who stayed there. Was it wise to even think about returning home? Was she setting herself up for a heartbreak? 

Marinette subtly rubbed her eyes and grinned at Jade. "We should go now, Cheshire. Plans won't make themselves." Wearing a cheerful mask wasn't hard as she had perfected her acting years ago.

"You are right. We should get going. There's still a lot of work ahead of us."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me a lot of time to write. I have like three versions of this chapter and all of them are different.  
> I'm very grateful for @Skaisy's kind words. You really helped me, thank you very much


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